Asdfmovie14

Asdfmovie14 is the fourteenth installment of the asdfmovie series. It was uploaded to YouTube on June 25, 2021.

Voice Actors

 * Thomas Ridgewell
 * Robert Benfer
 * Chloe Dungate
 * Rasmus Hardiker

Transcript
Tom: This video is sponsored by Monster Legends.

Chef: Ay, somebody order a large-a pizza?!

Guy: I did!

[pizza falls onto the guy, who is tiny]

Chef: Oh no! I drop-a da pizza on a little man!

[funky intro music]

[static]

Guy: It's Taco Tuesday!

[guitar riff]

Guy: Not again!!

[eerie music]

[smash]

Taco: Where's my money?!

[static]

Girl: Guess whoo-ose arms I stole?

[camera zooms out to reveal girl and a now handless guy]

[static]

[rubbery stretching]

[man emerges from an expanding pile of land]

Man: You want some spaghetti?

[static]

Mom: Look, honey!

[baby cooing]

Mom: The baby is taking his first... Life.

[baby rapidly approaching the father]

[he snaps his father's neck]

[static]

[singing] ''♪ Broccoli... Sockoli... ♪''

''♪ What's he doing today?! ♪''

[Shows Broccoli Sockoli lying on the floor faced down]

Tom: He's dead.

The end.

[static]

[A man is driving]

Driver: Wait a minute... I can't drive.

[smash into tree]

[static]

Karen: I want to speak to your manager!

[The Karen is speaking to a chair. Another chair drags across the floor next to the first chair.]

Second Chair: What seems to be the problem here?

[static]

Judge: I find you guilty...

[ominous music and zoom in of defendant]

Judge: ...Of nothing!

[optimistic music and defendant is smiling]

Judge: The sentence is death.

[Defendant is dead. Church bell tolls]

[static]

Guy 1: Egg.

[A man is pointing at an egg]

Guy 2: Stop turning people into e-

Guy 1: Egg.

[The man turns the other man into an egg]

[static]

[sniffs the baby]

Man: Eugh... Time to change this baby!

[Guy puts baby in trash can]

[Slides a box in and pulls out another baby]

[baby coos]

Man: Yeah.

[static]

Bully: Hey, you four-eyed freak!!

Nerd: Aww...

[Cuts to an actual four-eyed alien]

Nerd: Don't listen to 'em!

[alien screeching]

[static]

Customer: Yeah can I get uuuh...

Customer: Death?

Worker: What?

[Customer is dead on the floor. church bell tolls]

[Worker is dead. church bell tolls again]

[static]

Man: Hey!

Man: Get outta my sandwich!

[Little man lifts bread inside the sandwich]

Little man: No.

[static]

Teacher: Here's the results of your spelling test...

[The student has an F]

Student: Wow!

Student: An "A"!

[static]

[chuckles]

Mother: That's my girl!

[Cuts to a dead girl on a table]

Officer: I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am.

[static]

Guy: Make me a drink!

[bartender slaps man into drink]

Guy: Yeah!

[static]

Man: Where's my wife?!

Man: Oh, there's my wife!

Man: Where's my keys?!

Man: Oh, there's my keys!

Man: Okay, I'm off to work!!

[husband kisses wife]

Man: WHERE'S THE DOOOOR?!

[static]

Daughter: Mum, I'm scared...

Mom: Aw, honey... Ghosts aren't real.

[Cuts to daughter who's actually a ghost]

Daughter: Oh... Okay...

[Ghost moves back into grave]

[static]

[handle turning]

Guy: Ah HA!

Guy: That's how you open a door.

[static]

Announcer: What do we want?!

Crowd: Death!

Announcer: When do we want it?

[the crowd is all dead. church bell tolls]

[The announcer is dead. church bell tolls again]

Man: Hey guys, sorry I'm la-

[The other man dies. church bell tolls]

[static]

Tom: And now, a word from our sponsor.

Guy: Hello, Mine Turtle!

Mine turtle: Hello!

Mine turtle: Hng...

[inflation and straining]

[pop]

Guy: Oh.

[explosion]

Tom: Mine Turtle is now available in Monster Legends, a free-to-play monster battling game on iOS and Android.

Guy: Can I play it on this phone? (a rotary dial phone)

Tom: No.

Guy: Aw... [click]

[mine turtle had swapped places with the rotary phone]

Mine Turtle: Hello! [explosion]

Tom: Choose from over 800 monsters to breed, feed, and then succeed in real-time PVP battles against your friends

Son: Can I play with my friends??

Mom: Aww...

Mom: You don't have any friends.

Mom: Nerd!

[The mother rides away on a skateboard]

[pop punk music]

Tom: Monster Legends is great fun so it's really cool that they've added Mine Turtle to their roster.

Tom: I mean just... Look at him!

Tom: I love you... So click the link in the description and download Monster Legends now as Mine Turtle will only be available in the breeding event and special offers until July 5th.

Tom: Alright, see ya!

[click]

Tom: I deserve this.

[explosion]

[church bell tolls]

[static]

Trivia

 * This marks Mine Turtle's first appearance since Asdfmovie: deleted scenes, the intro in Asdfmovie12, and The Muffin Song.
 * This is the first Asdfmovie animated by multiple people